|@fashionablemiles (L) & I post-25K. Rocking Oiselle Gear (my shorts)|
|Flowers from my bestie Erin post race.|
I was almost to the bridge (final hill) and I saw some running friends who had finished in front of me and were cooling down by running back towards the runners cheering them on... I regained my inner strength and I straightened my back - and ran towards the finish. I crossed the finish strong, with my head held high.
Those few steps after my run, were awkward - as always. But my foot was throbbing and the pain was almost intolerable. I walked over to my running clubs tent and sat on the ground. I couldn't even be bothered to stretch or cool down or talk to anyone. I just wanted to cry. Cry because I had a sh!t race, a sh!t run, had a bad time, I wasn't fast, I wasn't beating any of my times, I wasn't being a good runner. My best friend Erin was my savior. She appeared out of no where with flowers in her hand. I was in complete shock she even showed up at the race. I gave her the biggest hug. She knew something was up - but she also knows me well enough not to ask - that I would tell her when I was ready. I hobbled to my car with her and we talked about anything other than running.
After my time with Erin I dropped her off at her apartment and I drove home. I didn't burst into the door and gush to my man all about my race; I simply walked in and told him I was going to shower. He knew it was a bad morning. He also just gave me some space to digest this race. I ended up showering and crawling on the couch with my Restoration Hardware blanket.. and I passed out. When I woke up... My foot was bruised and 'hot' to the touch.
|Buising Under The Ankle - Makes me mad looking at it.|
Long story short. I didn't run today. I am not running tomorrow. And I do have an appointment with a ortho surgeon on Wednesday at the Houston Ironman Sports Medicine Center. I haven't uploaded my Garmin results. I haven't looked at the official results. The only way I know my time is because my best friend Erin happen to mention it (she looked it up). 2:27. Not pretty.
You win some and you lose some... What I am taking away from this run is that I need to learn to trust my abilities. I need to have faith in my training and let my legs do the work they were meant to do. I need to let go of my insecurities and fears of failure when racing. Yes I am not the fasted, but I train and try just as hard... One day I'll win a race.. And I know exactly which one I want with my name in the 1st place spot. It won't be easy and it may takes years of trying.... But as my friend and dietitian has told me - if you believe it will happen.
When the official photo's of shame are published.. I'll be sure to post them back on this blog post.. Keep checking back for more race pictures.